Always on the Chase

My current situation… a feeling of standing still. I am waiting for the future and for the promise of tomorrow. (It made sense in my mind.)

My next step academically is to enroll at university. This has been my main goal since middle school. No, since elementary school. Since I found out I didn’t want to be an artist, a writer or an astronaut. I wanted to be a medstudent.

I am, however, a bit worried about the coming years after being a student. I dread the moment when I’ll ask myself the question “What now?”.

I am chasing my future. I have been for as long as I can remember. I hope I won’t skip the ‘living in the present’-part, because I know I will be wanting to escape my past sooner or later. I am that kind of person who lays awake in the middle of the night analysing every moment of the day and cringing over every moment. Every action becomes a misstep.

I can’t decide whether I am looking forward to the future or not.

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3 thoughts on “Always on the Chase

  1. I know how you feel. 😦 The future can be a bit intimidating and it always takes a bit more courage to take the next step. But I’ve found that after you get there, it can be a lot more relieving than it is stressful! It’s a bit more stressful to be in the present, sometimes. I know everyone always says to live in the present, but sometimes looking forward can really bring things up a bit!

    1. I hope you’re right. I thought I already was living in the present, but have come to the realisation that I haven’t at all. If I only had a bit more courage and the ability to just chill. 🙂

  2. I was in your position too, a few years back. Especially when I was enrolled in college for a diploma course. I remember feeling excited about the future but at the same time I felt as though I’m scared of it because of the uncertainty. At the time I was 19, haven’t even finished diploma and already thinking about applying for jobs after I get my degree. For a person who likes to plan things out, the feeling of uncertainty made me nervous. I’d say that now, in my final year of degree, it’s definitely not what I thought it would be like back when I was 19.

    Take things one day at a time. Looking forward for something is a good thing as the anticipation can be a nice feeling but then I’d say don’t look so far ahead into the future just yet. Hopefully things go well for you and all the best on med school!

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